Ma Anand SheelaShe is an intriguing personality, a very unusual life – a life that may seem like a bundle of contradictions, so it was a privilege to interact with her and find her more real than her life sounds. Hear her answer my doubts and my curiosities:

1.Tell us something about your upbringing before you met Bhagwan, what did you study, where did you grow up.

I had a wonderful family life.  I was loved by everyone in the family as I was the last born.  My parents spoiled me with their love but also my brothers and sisters did the same.  This bond of love that our parents gave us as an inheritance we enjoy it still today.

My father was an ideologue. My mother was forgiving and loving beautiful woman.  She was the sunflower of our family. Father wanted us to learn. Learn new things in life.  From our young age he took interest in reading with us different authors.  I remember at the age of five-six sitting on my father’s lap with my other brothers and sisters around listening to my father reading us Khalil Gibran.  I did not understand anything at the time but the feeling I remember today too how beautiful it was to be together with the family.

At an early age our father sent us abroad for education one by one.  He was often criticized  by relatives that he was not interested in getting us married in tradition and that he had given us much freedom.  All my basic values come from my mother and father.  He never missed an opportunity to introduce us to great minds of India in person and through literature. My father personally took me to Bhagwan.

I was a student in M S University in Baroda majoring linguistic. From there I went to studied Fine Arts in Montclair State in New Jersey.  My major was ceramics.   After that I was with Bhagwan. Bhagwan is where my true education began.

2.Why did you choose to write the book now and not 10-20 years back. Did you need that time distance to be more objective about the whole situation?

The original book was written in 1996 in German.  The translation in English took time.  I had started a new life after my time in prison. New existence had required much time, energy and hard work.  The priorities of life had not allowed the attention on the translation.  It happened that in 2010 one sannyasin came to me and said she would like to translate the book in English.  I allowed her to do it and till we found Prakash Books and the production time took another two years.

Yes, you are right one requires time to digest such profound experience of life with a man like Bhagwan.  I had that time in prison.

3.Given the maligning campaigns about you by the commune, do you think readers are going to believe your story? How has the response been to this memoir so far?

Very good question.  An important one.  I wrote this book not to persuade any one to see from my point of view or believe my story.  I just wrote what was my experience.  I wrote this book for my father.  It was his wish that I express myself with this valuable experience with Bhagwan.  He felt my life can guide many people in their conflicts of life.

So far response from intellectual readers is very positive and appreciative.  From Bhagwan’s sannyasins the response is angry and ugly may be it does not agree with their maligning campaigns. It exposes them.

4.You portray the commune or the Ashram being run as any other business venture? What did you think about it then and what do you think about it now?

The commune was an effective, well run business.  It was successful. It is a good form of social and economical way to live life.  Today to I live and work in a communal setting.  My communal homes are doing very well and are also successful.

5.To me your story re-iterates that a woman in love can go to any extent for the man she loves, irrespective of the fact if the man deserves that kind of reverence or not. Looking back do you think whatever you did – all rights and wrongs, were out of your sheer love for Bhagwan.

I used to feel and also verbalize often that as long as Bhagwan is behind me I can move mountains.  The love and trust I felt gave different kind of energy and sense in me that there were no limits to achievemnts. Weather the one you love deserves or not was not the issue.  The love one feels was that mattered. Yes,  what I felt was absolute love.  Even today I feel the same quality of love.   That love made the difference in life.  It is that love motivates and inspires.  It is that love which gives meaning to life.  It is that same love gave the strength to walk away at the right time too.

6.Do you think it is justified for some people to live on the charity of others and that too a charity that has been extracted in the name of providing spirituality.

No one has right to exploit others.  When gifts and presents become demand and burden then it is a point when one has to look deep inside. The desire for spirituality and becoming the number one spiritual then one is ready to offer the charity.  This is an age old problem.  The churches had sold heavenly accommodations for the greedy of good life after death.  Spirituality runs in the same road. Before we blame others I think we need to look at our own greed.

7.His last identity was Osho, but you seem to not like that name, or may be not associate that name with him. Your comments.

I knew Bhagwan. Bhagwan I can relate to.   I did not know Osho.  Osho is a stranger for me.

8.I found the end of the book a bit abrupt, you suddenly say Do Not Kill him without really saying Why? Would you like to elaborate that?

You may be right.  When I wrote this book, during the day I did my nursing and household work for my nursing home.  I took care of my parents and animals and at late night I wrote the book.  I guess at the end I was simply tired. During this time I had heard many annoying stories about Poona Ashram and how the publicity material they offered from the ashram did not include Bhagwan’s time in Oregon. It felt as if they were amputating Bhagwan by not including His full story in their representation.  Of course what I had heard from the doctor who had written the death certificate of Bhagwan’s death without seeing Bhagwan’s dead body etc.  made me sad.

9.Given a choice would you lead your life the same way, if not what would you like to change?

Yes, without a doubt. It has been an adventure.  If I would change anything then  it would be I would not take so long to decide to leave the commune as I did.

10.If there is one learning that Bhagwan left this world with – what would that be according to you?

Love, Laughter, Life and Acceptance.  LLLA. I live my life accordingly even today.

11.Looking back, what is your biggest learning in life, specially in the context of relationship between a Guru and the devotee?

Keep your focus on learning and not on your greed to be a spiritual.  Do not give up your own integrity.  Love and respect fully but also remember your own values.

Ma Anand Sheela https://i2.wp.com/www.anureviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Ma-Anand-Sheela.jpg?fit=835%2C1024https://i2.wp.com/www.anureviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Ma-Anand-Sheela.jpg?resize=150%2C150Anuradha GoyalAuthor SpeakShe is an intriguing personality, a very unusual life - a life that may seem like a bundle of contradictions, so it was a privilege to interact with her and find her more real than her life sounds. Hear her answer my doubts and my curiosities: 1.Tell us something about...Book Reviews by Anuradha Goyal